"She Moves Me": A Day Without Walls

Wanderings and Wonderings

Jul 01, 2024

Welcome to “Sounds from My Soul.” I’m Jenn, sharing personal essays inspired by song titles and accompanied by unique AI-generated album covers. Thank you for listening.

I.

I spent a day without walls this week.

Alone at a lake with sunlight peeking through transient rain clouds, spreading sparkles across the water, like pixie dust. Expanding.

I watched the billowy clouds in wonder, felt the oozy mud between my toes, and laughed in astonishment at the blue-winged tree swallows playing in the wind, pulling off aerial feats I didn’t know were possible.

I sat, stood, lay, stretched. Mesmerized by the subtle and vibrant shifts in colors of the grass and wildflowers and the comforting warmth of the rocks on my skin.

“What a day to be alive,” I spoke aloud, more than once. A smile rested, unbothered, on my face.

As I marveled at the birds and the beauty surrounding me, a profound realization washed over me. As the cool water lapped at my calves and dampened the bottom of my pants just below my knees, I understood that I had been observing Nature as though I were separate from it.

I had come to this place to witness Nature. Yet, the truth was, I was as much a part of Nature as the bird delighting in the wind. It reveled fully in its existence, just as I was learning to do. We weren’t different. I belonged to the beauty.

Perhaps I’d been a bird in another life, but in this unique current iteration as Jenn, I was grateful to experience the wind with human flesh that revealed its enchantment through goosebumps. The gentle breeze was there with me too, carrying a message much like the one in Savanna’s song “She Moves Me” that I had heard earlier in the day. The wind itself seemed to speak, reminding me of the reciprocal, connected relationship we share with Nature.

Sweet cool summer breeze whispers through my hair
Hello, I am here
You are felt
You are held
And all the while I thought I was the one experiencing the wind
Turns out She loves to kiss me back
Lyrics: Savanna, “She Moves Me”

The walls we construct around ourselves and our hearts, keeping us disconnected from others and the world outside the house of “me” we all live in, create an illusion of separation. Amidst human consciousness and our capacity for reason, I recognized that much of what I perceived was actually an illusion, a really convincing one.

Behind all illusions, there’s reality
Reminder of simplicity
Surrender our souls to the mystery
Opening our hearts completely
Lyrics: Danit, “Heartbeat”

As I meandered back through the canyon, cars impatiently caught up to me. Again and again, I pulled over to let them pass. I realized my body had attuned to the slower rhythm of Nature. I was in no hurry. I had nowhere to be but here. In reality, that is always true.

II.

I spent a day without walls this week.

Alone at a park with overgrown grass, snaking around and through the rickety wooden bleachers. Reclaiming.

Walking, swinging, and listening as sunset approached.

With each soft step I took through the high grass, dozens of grasshoppers flitted this way and that, acknowledging my presence. Seen for a moment above and then gone again below as I passed through.

The clouds gathered, parted, and morphed from dark to light and back to dark again, deepening in saturation with each passing moment. Birds sang from the trees and the sky, their melodies as constant as the earth spinning on its axis, the sun slowly disappearing below the horizon for what could have been the trillionth time.

Lightning flashed in the distance. Rain was on its way.

As the day closed and I left the park to walk back to the cabin for shelter, the encroaching rain seemed to cleanse not just the air but also my perceptions. The clouds morphing above and the lightning flashing in the distance were reminders of the ever-changing but interconnected world we are part of.

Each moment of the day, from the tender caresses of the wind to the spirited leaps of the grasshoppers, echoed the truth found in Savanna's song and Danit’s lyrics: we are not merely observers of Nature; we are participants in its dance. Just as the tall grass moved in and through the wooden bleachers, the moments of oneness throughout the day were reclaiming me. Expanding me.

Be open and trust
‘Cause what may come to you will come right through you
Circling around, and around, and around in this wheel of life
Breathing in and out life, breathing in and out love
Connecting all there is and embracing
Here and now
Lyrics: Danit, “Heartbeat”

III.

I spent a day without walls this week.

What a day to be alive, even if it might have been the trillionth one.

Thanks for spending time with me. I hope you found something in these words that resonates with you. If you did, you’d make my day by letting me know with a like, share, comment, subscription, or recommendation.

Until next time, friends,